No, I'm talking to this Chinese girl. Can't understand a word she's saying, but i think i caught the word vagina a few times.
two words: fractured penis. two more: emergency room.
well you decided to make everyone "drinks" which was sprite and beer mixed.
No flamethrowers. That is a direct order.
somehow a sneeze triggered me puking over everyone in the car
I come back upstairs and there he was sitting in a speedo. He handed me a blanket and said "let's cuddle" how is this real life?
By 11 pm the pants were off and there was no turning back. But on the bright side, you promised me your CDs when you died, you even signed a napkin saying so.
I'm looking at some sugar baby profiles to get some insight on what we're up against.
Well I think I made it pretty obvious I wasn't in to it. I was drinking a beer while he was going down in me
Zak is like the Picasso of masterbatory texts
please come here right now, that girl who always gets her boob out is here and she brought taco bell
I'm so jealous of your sex life. You know it's awesome when thinking about the sex you had last night brings you tears of joy.
I feel like I shouldn't be encouraging my friends to hook up with their teachers.....but if it's for academic reasons....then I definitely encourage it.
it's your last night here, let's make it one we may or may not remember.
The weirdest part of it all was wondering if I was going to take off his fanny pack or he was before we fucked
Randomize
