Do u think I can claim pregnancy as an accident so my insurance covers it?
i cant even explain all the reasons why i dont want to fuck you right now.
Midgets have it so easy. They have so much less leg area to shave.
My mom wanted me and my brother to have some bonding time before I left for school. Our bonding time consisted of us smokin a few bowls then goin to Red Robin to cure the munchies. Ooo how I love family time :)
high in an attic. pig roast in 10.
Does it count if I'm only ambidextrous while masturbating?
you were exchanging tortilla chips with the guy at the next table, telling him your table was given the "big chips" because it was your 21st birthday
Ye. Looking like it's about to be one of those mythical responsible weekends
a 6'8" white kid in a Lin jersey just wandered out of my gay kid brother's room. when does spring break end, again?
There is is 40 year old penis staring me in the face right now if there was ever a time to be a good friend its right now.
I thought I could grab a hold of my stream of urine. So she left pretty soon after that.
the bartender goes "wow its so good to see you sober" and gives me a hug
I'm gonna cum garlic butter
She was wearing a grass skirt and a watermelon bra. WATERMELONS.
I went to finger her and found a penny. I think ill keep it.
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