As a pleasant surprise..I woke to find a Burrito and Bottle of Gatorade .....Merry XMAS to ME
I've come to notice a late period isn't as exciting when you have no reason to worry
I got a Cease & Desist email from NBC for downloading Bruno. I am not going down for gay porn.
i've decided that sluts are like cars. they may look good as hell on the outside, but you never know what kind of shit is hiding under the hood.
hey girl hope you're alright, you hit that tree really hard. have a good night.
Leaving the dealer's house. He just gave me a sincere hug and said good luck. This cant end well.
Passing out is just my bodies way of protecting my liver.
he said he did everything he could to puke on his nurses because they were doing everything wrong
Thats admirable.
I haven't even booked my flights yet and I have my drug supply sorted
While leaving the bar with another guy I told the bouncer I was sad his friend had a fiancee
You were drinking Everclear weren't you?
He showed up at my front door with Plan B and a rose...
so, in conclusion, I think his gf found out about the booty pics
Unless your apology includes a 20 something with loose morals and a daddy complex, I'm am not interested
When he mumbled "I can't feel my legs," proceeded to stand, fall over, and just lay there I knew I'd given great head...
bitch dont make me pour hotsauce in your vagina
Randomize
