Whatever. They have the same name, so it's not even cheating. It's brand loyalty.
she had a my little ponys comforter. i left when she went to the bathroom
i have a "get your shit together" dinner with my parents tonight. After that ill be down to party
i make up for being a shitty girlfriend by being amazing in bed.
Like my mouth was on his pelvis connected to his balls that's how far it was
Drunk Tina signed up to be part of the crew team and got a text from the captain telling her there's practice tomorrow. Wtf
You tried to put a condom on my dog, then he ate it.
I find it fascinating that she'd be more comfortable with her mom finding out she submits dirty disney confessions on tumblr than about her secret email account she uses to chat with dutch and brazilian strangers.
How do I say "I still wanna hook up w you but I don't wanna see your penis via text ever again" through a snapchat
I have poison ivy on my dick
WHAT
this hospital has no fireball
I wore a shirt that says "more tequila" to my bday party last year and that's why I want to be my own friend
I am stoned, not wearing a bra, and a woman. There is no way in fuck I am getting on a fucking bus.
This friendship isnt goin to work if you dont respond to my drunk texts
He ate me out in the passenger seat of his Range Rover in a Tim Hortons parking lot. I could hear “oh canada” on the radio from a nearby school as I came. Most patriotic orgasm ever!
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