The greatest thing of my life happened today. I took a shit and it formed a smiley face. It's going to be a fucking fantastic day.
meow
WTF. STOP SENDING ME ANIMAL NOISES. ITS FUCKING WEIRD.
We walked in and they were fucking to Somewhere Over the Rainbow... I need a new roommate.
All he said was "Yeah, there's a lot of air down there. And penis."
I knew the night had taken a turn when we showed up and our flabongo was being chilled in the freezer.
no dude free pina colada`s taste like what I would expect my penis to taste like except gay-er.
As sure as my left ball is bigger then my right. We will have our moment.
The hookup that almost was... Both partys too drunk to migrate to the other.... the universe has won this one.
Every time he asks me if I'm horny I'm just like come on...stupid question
Also this guy fingered me at the bar and then gave me his card
Just walked into the library with a case of Strawberitas in hand.. no one said a word.. I think they were just impressed I knew where the library was
I'm eating Swedish fish out of my boobs and watching SOA.. There is no way your Tuesday night will be better than mine.
He came and farted at the same time. My life is over.
Walking back to my car from the campus library and just saw a Nuva Ring on the sidewalk. If that doesn't scream college life, idk what does.
A cop may or may not have seen my bare ass against the moonlight within the past hour
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