i may have used way too many innuedos last night. i scared him off. but really... how could i pass up "stimulus package" and "flacid economy." don't answer that.
after drinking 6 jumbo margaritas he then proceeded to tell the entire restaurant that he was going to "bust a load in me" when we got home....how do you think the rest of my night went?
Just saw a commercial bout this girl that lost 54 lbs on a taco bell diet. so thats my excuse.
Good cause the way I see it, we are down to DAYS left of college so we should have as much naked fun as possible. And Jenga really facilitates that.
We've completely outdone ourselves. We packaged a collective total of six grams of pot and salvia into little bowl-sized tinfoil capsules. It's totally impossible to tell which is which without comparing, every Friday from now on we pick one out and see what the fuck happens
THEY HAVE VIAGRA FLAVORED GELATO
you were feeling the wall and when we asked you why, you just said "because I want to know who lived here before"
Rick just drank rum out of a dog bowl after a dog already drank out of it.
I did not get laid last night bc my condoms were too small. I'm allowed to be dreary
Im hitting on this chick at a stoplight when all the sudden. i notice this chick blowing some dude in the backseat.
Only you could successfully troll for dick at a Hillel bake sale.
going on a mission to find my pants and the guy who stole my beer don't wait up
Omg the world wants us to be better people
I refuse
Socially acceptable to sleep in a booth in the library? Its not finals but I dunno if I can make it back to south. Too drunk.
In the last 2 hours I managed to have romantic starlit sex on the beach as the tide came in with not only just a gorgeous man, but one who happens to be Eastern European and finishing Harvard law school.
Oh wow. I want to be you right now.
Randomize
