He asked to "fluff my boner.."
it went kinda like vodka, childhood memories, screaming/cursing, fist fight, tears, broken shit, passing out. in that order. tis the season.
I love how you are more concerned with what i call my penis than the fact i wanna bone some high school chicks
We're exchanging pot brownie recipes in my substance abuse class. This is going to be an awesome 7 weeks.
Wasn't a date. In exchange for artichoke dip I received a bj. And sex. It was a transaction.
we've got reservations. ask for the eat a bag of dicks table
theres pictures of him knuckle deep in her, both of them thumbs up and cheesin. someone should take her kid away
Whore. There is deli meat in my wallet.
Dude it was bad... like you fell asleep around the toilet after drinking from the back tank bad.
I went to the strip club tonight. I had never gone, and in a panic I gave the dancer giving me a lap dance a handshake and introduced myself. Redefines business casual.
WHY WOULD YOU SWIPE RIGHT???!!!!!
The same reason I ordered and ate almost an entire pizza last night
My good Christian morals say no, but my complete disregard of anything related to religion says yes
Remember how I made that resolution to remain celibate for 6 months? Well, I just broke that
You literally made that 4 hours ago...
I WILL KICK YOU IN THE FUCKING THROAT IF YOU EAT MY FUCKING ICE CREAM.
You know its awkward when your mom walks in on you and your boyfriend yelling surprise....I was scared into an orgasm
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