I wish you wouldn't refer to your breast milk as "ammunition"
im sorry but my first introduction to your dick isn't going to be a pic sent from the men's room
So I'm pretty sure when I was giving a Birthday Blow J, he went to grab my boob, but grabbed a fat roll and asked "You're not wearing a bra?"
apparently when the FedEx truck drove by, we tried to chase it down thinking they were delievering a 30 pack...great night.
America approved of our night. A bald eagle flew over us at 7am
I woke up this morning peeing out bubbles . I smell like baby wash . What the hell happened .
coming from the girl bound and determined to pee in the snow
why would you restrict a girl of that
I didn't cheat on him. He just hasn't been informed of the open part of our relationship.
I told this guy in the dining hall that he's a hippie god and he's never made eating yogurt so sexy
Would it be weird if I congratulated the guy who almost broke up my marriage for working on the marriage equality bill? You know, thanks for fighting for the sanctity of marriage. Weird, right?
I just spent 3 hours in the back of an unmarked police cruiser. Best. Date. Ever.
We popped the air mattress last night via sex and we just kept going but it feels like I have a bruise on every vertebrae
What's rude is him not accepting my blowjob offer. What kind of guy denies that.
No we didn't talk. I was high and doing naked yoga in the living room when she walked in so it was just awkward. I didn't even know my dad had a girlfriend.
Do you remember telling those ppl that they need to mate and give you the baby and in 15 years you will all reunite and it will be a party?
Randomize
