let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
Stealing vibrators from Walmart together was when I realized you'd be my Maid of Honor.
The trip involved octopus tentacles coming from the little holes in my TV's speakers. The beauty of the nonexistant symbolism had me in tears.
You were offering to spell people's name for a dollar.
...But it's not like we would be the first people to pay for an abortion with student loans and cell phone rebates.
I can always tell I missed tequila night based on the hickeys on your neck man. Fucking call me.
You know what my problem is? I'm like a machine designed for the sole intention of removing the pants from damaged girls.
I found the bottle of ketchup and sobe you tried to hide in the middle of the lawn last night
have to get expensive furniture. after that study abroad now at least six things at ikea are named after guys i slept with
No way. Every time you have sex with him you'll end up staring into those eagle eyes and stop mid-orgasm.
Please don't judge me for my hormonal purchase, judge me for my awesome rack.
You're the only one to love me enough for me to admit the following: Rock-bottom sounds like sobbing to a Miley Cyrus song.
Omg. I definitely just got hit on by my doctor AFTER he completed my pap smear which clearly showed I was in the middle of an outbreak. What. The. Fuck.
whatever. i just wanna get "forget my own name" wasted
no. you need to know your name so people know where to return you when you get lost.
On a scale from 1 to 10 how gross is it to get a chili dog from a vending machine?
Randomize
