we were making out and he got up to change his pants. I wonder what would happen if i took my shirt off.
he called AT&T to make sure that he had insurance before he threw his cell phone into the fountain.
Uhh, there's a legit bruise on my boob.. Again how does he manage this
im drinking tequila tonight so will you babysit my bra?
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True life. I have to get a nose job due to a deviated septum from blowing coke. Thank you college.
Like her Facebook page isn't even hers. It belongs to her tits. It's Titsbook
I've come to the conclusion that Jesus and 2013 are haters.
He tried to convince me that it wasn't really that small and all he had to do was pull back the groin fat. It was still small.
and everyone will high five me and girls will approach me offering blowjobs
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And tan into my neighbor in the elevator. She was going to the gym. I was covered in mascara and dog hair eating a hash brown
Hahaha she was way into you and you kept arguing about burritos. It was amazing.
The cops wrote boobs in the police report. ...vandalism is our calling
It’s like a buffet of marriages! Every option is available to you!
I think all the guys I've fucked in my life would get along perfectly. They'd probably form an orchestra and travel the fucking world. That gives me the slightest feeling of consistency in life which is great.
Ended up at the strip club, got told I should be a dancer 4 times, got free tacos and my hot TA slide in the dms. How was your night?
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