Tell her she can't have a vagina
Are you trying to threaten my boobs?
We have to go find her fucking car. She came home from a 80 dollar cab ride, no shoes, and all she remembers is its at a burger king on a street with an H in it
hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
The only good thing about trampolines when you're fucked up is the gushing blood really cleans all the bad coke out of your nose.
He just asked me to pee through my panties while he watched. I might need more tequila for this one.
I was in the freezer we were knocking over shit. Speaking of which i asked my boss. I can hook up with girls in the freezer
Yeah just sayin. Whenever you want to come over and wank me off you can
What are you doing St Patricks day? I'm banned from all work parties with open bar ever since the cinco de mayo party that I dumped a drink on my co-workers head and played air guitar on my boss' ankle cast.
He put crushed up bacon in the joint and now we're listening to the Matilda soundtrack I have no idea what's going on
I just remember being happy that I got that toilet fixed so I had somewhere close to throw up
I just find it funny that nobody ever threatens to call the cops on us until we have a Harry Potter party
He came over in a blaze orange vest with a case of beer and a shotgun yelling about "Dove Season" then passed out in the lawn. There he lies
So the doorbell rang while we were banging, and I'm pretty sure the pizza man saw my dick. But hey, we got pizza.
Checked my bank account this morning...apparently I went to 7-11 at 4am and spent $22 on taquitos. New all time low for me.
I ate all of them. New all time low for ME.
From now on I'd like to be known as Rampage.
Randomize
