I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
Great, now everyone thinks I've had giraffe semen in me
i saw her thong sticking out from across the bar...that was my cue
We agreed to not shave eyebrows when someone is passed out. douchebag.
found used condoms and an omlet in my uggs. I'm disgusted but not surprised.
He shaved off his eyebrows. This is not my life.
Why the fuck is the royal wedding at 4am. That is obviously not the most appropriate time to drink during finals. It's like I'm bound to fail, by royal decree.
Your maid of honor is passed out in a golf cart on the 18th hole.
I'm eating crumbled blue cheese out of Tubbaware. My life is nothing.
Oh you have a half-brother? Why that's right up my alley! Let's cause family strife
Tearing families apart since 2011.
I've got my wine, though it wasnt very good so I threw a sour patch kid in it
I had a dream I gave a blow job to a guy whose dick forked off into two. I'm going to spend the rest of my life confused.
No, it's cool, I just bounced from the hospital. I was...talking to a security guard, maybe?
GUESS WHO STILL HAS BOTH NIPPLES!
We got drunk, we had raw sex and we discussed about the showrunner change in Doctor Who, in that order.
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