I had so many friends before that round of Never Have I Ever.
He threw up over the balcony and blamed it on an invisible garden gnome.
I just got sparklers from my secret santa. Drunken sledding just got to a whole new level of dangerous
It's official. I'm a squirter. Wasn't a one time thing.
The cop only confirmed I'm .22% Irish. Then I threw up on him.
he had his head down and said he was listening for the buffalo, he had to still be drunk.
Someone wrote Kyle's bitch on me too. I dont even know who Kyle is.
just had a flashback of you pouring champagne into my mouth from someones balcony..
I'm a little nervous about this St. Patty's Day party. Seriously, we're still finding stuff from the Halloween party.
I just want a guy that likes cats and is willing to get a vasectomy. IS THAT SO MUCH TO ASK?!
Getting my nails done with Diana... I'm going for the keep your friends close and the girl who's dating the guy you want to fuck closer
I would say I miss her friendship, then I remember that she gave 4 guys the clap. I'm good.
I accidentally told my mom "the reason I didn't answer your call is because my phone was in my pants, on the floor"
Shaving your balls drunk sounds like a good idea untill you do it
My Boss was giving porn recommendations. I think I'm scarred for life.
Randomize
