Im drinkin out of a coconut! I think im gonna dip my balls in it!
can't decide if i want to get drunk or coked for this harry potter thing.. it is kind of long
aren't you going with children?
Some chick just barfed in my math class. Everyone here is hungover. Yay community college
I've never heard of anyone celebrating the holidays with a fuck buddies family before.
....I'll be expecting my trophy when I return.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Her vagina smelled like pancake batter. That's all you need to know.
I just karate chopped a humming bird out of mid air. It came at my face while I was out side smoking. Scared the shit out of me. My ninja skills just took over. Haha. I mean really at that point it was me or him.
Wow I didn't even consider the possibility of him having ED. I'm gaining so many life experiences from dating an older man
I also just told a guy I was available for counseling in case he needed to 'bang' things out. I've become a monster.
It was incredible. For as long as I live, I will gladly drop whatever I'm doing and spend a night with her face between my legs ANY time she asks.
I am decidedly straight, but I'll write it into my wedding vows if I have to.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It just makes me feel nauseous. And I don't want to feel nauseous when all I really want is to get off.
In hindsight following that black guy in the ghostbusters costume was a terrible decision on everyone's part
You were making out w/ur brothers coach against a door when someone opened it and you both fell through... Then you continued to make out on the ground
Well supposedly when the cops came, they say I tried to get them in a conga line like Jim Carrey in The Mask. So....yea
Dude you where on that lil kids bike at 2 am ridin down the turning lane wearing only socks and a helmet singing born to be wild, no you weren't that fucked up
Omfg I just White Claw shamed a Girl Scout Cookie mom and I feel SO BAD.
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