her vagina probably looks like a grenade went off in a deli
I'm terrified to sleep next to her. Of course the sex will be fuckng awesome.
I woke up to him eating cereal out of my viking helmet with a shot glass. No idea where he got the milk.
She started crying. I don't think she's gotten head from a sax player before.
Nada. Shooting off confetti and wanted to see I'd u could see it from ur house.
Wow. Its not even 11am.
There's something really special about 3:00 in the afternoon drunk that just can't be duplicated at any other time of day.
Guess which fraternity was just playing car to car frisbee in the McDonald's drive thru! Did you guess mine?
They usually take it with their boobs. It's like a horizontal motorboat
His grandma held his dogs so they wouldn't follow me out the door. It was like a whole new level added to my walk of shame.
He's rescued me passed out naked on the playground next door and I've rescued him passed out naked in the middle of campus. That's why we're a great couple.
In 2009 his now husband dressed in a sailor onesie and heels for pride so he needs to REMEMBER how to party
I took out the emergency phone in the elevator and replaced it with a bottle of vodka. The game is simple, do a shot for the number of the floor you're going to. Best suggestion box tip ever.
I'm getting 800 nuggets from McDonald's
i'm now remembering the last part of my nigght....ugh. apperently i bargained with the wendys drive up girl after they closed and got "w/e they had left" for $7
ARE YOU DEAD? TEXT Y FOR YES OR N FOR NO.
Randomize
