I have no idea who these bands are he's listening to. If his current playlist was a pandora station, however, it would be titled "music for closet cock gobblers"
You're a big dope. Life is about fighting for what you want, not accepting what you hate.
Why does tequilla always make you text me?
Picking up third year law school girls is like MILF hunting for beginners
white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So, do you know where my left shoe is? I mean, we were at a few places last night, and I called them. No luck for me.
and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
I feel like my lungs want to punch me in the vagina.
is that even a sentence?
My mom got me high and then dropped me off at a church.
I've abandoned trying to find a logical explanation of your life.
I need to beat up a magician now. BRB.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
the only good thing about going home with him was that he was prettier than me.
I just found 20 dollars in my vibrator box. Was it a drunken sign to myself to get more?
I woke to him laying in the floor puking in a shoe. So I guess we had a good night.
Dick. I'll go round and break his windows. I've been watching Sons of Anarchy on Netflix.
Doing coke by yourself isn't as fun. Even when you're watching a James Franco movie.
God does not give you boobs that amazing to not share them with your friends
Randomize