i keep myself tagged when other girls look bad/ugly so i look better
Remember that one time i smeared period blood on your face?
I hate you
then she stuck her tongue in my ass
I thought we were talking about reason you aren't going to marry her?
Can we please not be like these pathetic people in their thirties who only get drunk when they go see Sherrill Crow?
If I don't throw up the day I graduate i'll feel like the last 4 years and thousands of dollars spent on alcohol will have been wasted.
This reunion sucks. All the confident hot girls from high school are still confident and hot, and none of the fat girls with low self esteem transformed into hot girls with low self esteem.
Everything was going great until my fake mustache fell off when we started making out.
Getting my nails done with Diana... I'm going for the keep your friends close and the girl who's dating the guy you want to fuck closer
Shirtless guy staggering down the sidewalk, puking into a Prada shopping bag. Ahhh, the walk of shame in Boystown.
I'm basically flying you out for a long weekend of sex and going to the zoo
I'm cool with that
friends are allowed to bang on New Years, I read it on the Internet somewhere.
I miss you.
Yeah, I don't want to have sex.
i feel like i got punched in the face....
you did....
I'll be coming off of 7 days of not drinking. No horse tranqs either. I haven't been this sober since I was in the womb
The covid immunization shot lady also sold me a mondo bag of really good pot.
Randomize
