Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
addddeeerrraaaallll.
ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
then for some reason i googled "how much to buy a cannon"
Night out in new white coat = success. Offered free breast exams all night, two took me up on it, woke up with one. I love medical school!!!
I just taped a plastic bag to my ceiling for the next time I have to throw up on the top bunk. Why am I so good at college?
She woke up laying on my kitchen floor, ketchup bottle as her pillow, in front of my fridge.
it's kinda bad that we're already planning travel arrangements to his funeral
Just picture a bunch of Abraham Lincolns having an orgy.
So much beer in the passenger seat the seatbelt light is blinking
Finals are done.. I just wanna get drunk and pretend I'm a seahorse.
You rolled around on the floor, yelled about being a "half-zombie" and bit that guy on the leg who was hitting on me.
you smell like cheap hookers & chicken nuggets.
I didn't wake up drunk this year...I must be getting soft
Yeah I guess quad-fisting Miller Lites just isn't as effective as it used to be
I DID NOT GO INTO HOURS OF STRENUOUS LABOR FOR YOU TO LOOK LIKE A DOMINATRIX BARMAID ON A WEEKDAY. AT LEAST SAVE IT FOR THE WEEKEND GDI.
Apparently my hair turned out really good because I got my butthole licked by a stranger last night
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