Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
"Shots" has been nominated for a grammy. Now all of the US has sunken to our level...
I was giving him head and when I deep throated him he screamed out "Ohh, top ten!"
So there I was.....spitting on my goldfish just to keep it alive.
While we were having sex he told me "this is what you get for not parking my car right" I have never drove his car. He was that kind of weird.
Eventually the creepy theater major quirks will come out. Probably in bed. Like role playing as the Phantom of the Opera
Well if were past the bullshitting stage yes if not then no I'm not that kind of guy
I tried to find the bar, ended up at a car dealership. Then the alarms went off.
I'm sure he'll make the rejection quick and completely justified.
Brightest idea yet: lets drink enough at ladies-drink-free nights to make up for the cost of tampons. Breaking even on having vaginas!
How can other people our age be acting like adults when I'm still taking my birth control pill with left over gin and tonic from the night before?
I am literally drinking 7 day old water and looking for snacks in my room so I won't have to go in the hall and see roommate, because we accidentally banged last night. Please bring over some chicken and plan b.
I was so drunk last night I couldn't see faces, only from the shoulders down.
If you can handle my post-party look you da real MVP
Bro, I live in a constant state of existential dread and moderate ennui. The prospect of cosmic horror doesn’t faze me that much.
Randomize
