Imagine a baby lion feeding on an injured gazelle and it tasting fresh blood for the first time. That's me and this breakfast sammich
No. He just yelled "youre having one more orgasm!" So he made that happen and then he rolled over and went to sleep.
I'm challenging a 70 yr old alcoholic woman who is half my size tonight. Wish me luck
There are pictures of you on the shoulders of some old guy dressed as borat
ATTENTION ALL CONTESTANTS OF SLUTFEST 2012 ; not only will we be judging on how many penis you have sucked but also girth and length will be calculated. If you are found lying you will be disqualified. Remember your fellow participants will be rendering the same services to probably the same people. So choose wisely and let the games begin!
Dude you were so high some kid was kicking the wall and you were convinced it was your heartbeat
My parents are takin me for chinese food for my 4/20 present.
I fucking hate you.
You don't have a wife, you don't have a dog, and you need a new bong. Don't make this any worse than that.
Did we really just set fireworks off in a cemetery? Or was that a dream?
I think so and I think we were sober.
Also if i get drunk and start crying about the elephants you all have my permission to abandon me.
Nah it's alright, I'll just ride cock all the way to hell
And don't worry, I have a great track record of rallying after a casual midday blackout.
My drug dealer was just on ESPN..
you walked into the party, and all you had on was your left sock... literally.
3 weeks in a row I've pulled '69' at the deli counter...God is giving me shit for not getting laid in a year....
Randomize
