You were parading around the bar chugging girls drinks and then asking them if you could buy them a drink. It was actually genius
Okay Im going to go have some sex apparently. I hope this chick is prepared the zero effort Im going to put into it.
why oh why did i suck thise tits. nothing but trouble fuuuuuu
Can I steal her, take her home, and feed her only vodka?
the bride at the wedding we just crashed said we can stay only if we strip for her. You need to get down here
Sometimes i like to think we arent living together next year and that im living with models that like to experiment but you ruin that fantasy time and time again
You asked me what the point was. Told me your were dying alone and then had me take you and Wendy's where you bought 3 meals and ate them in about 10 minutes saying you didn't care if you got fat...
Frankly, since I met you, I practically exist in a state of constant readiness for sex
I thought it was improvement but then i realized sex isn't an emotion and I hate everyone
I don't need to marry the guy. I just need some filthy, shameful wish fulfillment sex and then live out the rest of my life on the bean farm.
I kinda forgave him after he laid next to me and rubbed my arm for four hours while I tripped balls.
All I want is a hot dog on a Saturday at 2:19 is that to much to ask?!
Gonna try and have sex in the empire state bldg, will tell you how it goes
So we were fooling around last night and suddenly Like A Virgin popped up on his itunes
OMG haha What did he say?
He told me that if I laughed, I would have to leave.
It's a race to see if I finish the bottle first or my homework
Randomize
