Im sick of reading dumb tattoos while having sex
Hes still not moving. At what point does 'hungover' become 'hospital-time?'
As long as you're not dating white guys again.
Emergency need house key where r u I just got shit o n
And by go well you mean everyone's hammered right?
Yupp. And someone's bleeding
I just had really awesome sex bent over the side of an air hockey table. That is all. Happy thanksgiving.
I almost drank vegetable oil. Where were you? I needed you.
I tolerate his mediocre drunk sex for the mind blowing morning sex. More than worth it.
I told you being able to play expert on guitar hero would get us laid one day
You need to finger her with the Spock hand sign since she loves Star Trek.
I love you. Go after that dick
So? Find me, fuck me, then you can go to sleep and I'll leave.
Wow. That's the most amazing thing anyone has ever said to me.
Ok fell asleep on a bus in south Carolina just woke up in Canada where the hell is the liquor store from here?!
I'm too drunk to remember your name. I'm too drunk to recall where i'm currently at. And i'm too drunk to give a shit.
So...I'm pretty sure I have officially determined that reverse cowgirl is the only position possible to have sex in my smart four two
Randomize
