all he gave me for my birthday was sperm
at least its a homemade gift
ofcourse shes the first one pregnant. wasnt she the one who asked the middle school health teacher how many calories are in sperm?
omg my older sister has been googling "how do I know if I've had an orgasm?" and "bj tips". the family laptop is not meant for this...
my hot student got the clitoris wrong on the lab practical...so it kinda makes me not want to pursue it
just because he can't find it on a cat, doesn't mean he can't find it on you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
if he only knew that in between each sext i was puking.
So you actually don't remember giving head to the Neil Armstrong statue last night?
It's just one of those days where I'm too horny to function, to be perfectly honest.
Sorry about all of the penis things that happened last night.
I just woke up naked next to a GetGo sandwich and I can hear my cats are eating my combos. So that's my life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Bro, if we got a house, it'd basically be a revolving door for slightly overweight, but extra cute, sexually deviant girls with daddy issues.
who has a one night stand on Christmas ? But he's pretty attractive so thumbs up
I shall relish in being the most basic of bitches
It's 2017. Get with the program. Also remind me never to get margaritas with you ever on Cinco de Mayo.
Realization: many of my behaviors would lead to me being stoned to death in a lot of foreign countries. God bless America.
i have a serious question for you... Why I am i not wearing any pants?
Randomize