Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
Is it wrong to want to cut a hole in the Tigger suit so I can molest you while I wear it?
Dude if I didn't piss myself last night I dont think I would have woke up in time for work.
my life has come down to walking through campus and wondering if every guy is the random i made out with saturday
Great news! In less than 2 hours, I'm ripping your underwear off with my teeth!
Where did you go?
I'm not really sure. They have flavored vodka. I like it and I'm never leaving. Ever.
I think when Jesus turned water into wine it was a sign that we should get drunk off Sangria tonight. Do it for Jesus. He died for your sins.
I just told the joker that my vagina is the bat cave and he needs to infiltrate it.
He bought the 12 pack of condoms. I take that as a sign of serious commitment.
There is a huge fucking spider in my bathroom....I can just burn our apartment down right? What do you need me to grab?
I just saw a cat, if i ate those mushrooms 15 minutes earlier i wouldn't have made it to the bar
Just in case you blacked out, we had sex, you came in me, we need plan B, we fell off your top bunk, broke your roommates chair, i still like you, but i'm in pain and am going to bed
They have one of those claw machines here... with a dildo in it...
I didn't think you wanted your identity stolen along with your dignity. My mistake.
we live vicariously through your huge boobs
Randomize
