Maury Povich's contact info is in our database at work...i should steal it right?
Just saw a cop issuing a DUI. At 3 pm. It's definitely the start of winter break.
Note to self. Champagne flavored lube is neither as tasty nor as classy as one might think.
I just found glitter on my vibrator... whatever we're doing has to stop
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't have a choice really. It's either lose 15 lbs by Halloween, or I'm going as a giant banana.
He gets creativity points for the hot sauce. But it may be awhile until my nipples forgive him
Do not buy whiskey under any circumstances. There should be a UN sanctioned buffer zone between me and Seagrams.
Well besides you comparing him to your dead cat, I'd say it was fine.
It was like the devil him self busted his red hot satanic nuts all over my face and burned my eyes out of my innocent sockets.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My Wonder Woman lingerie has been defiled by man. I'm a horrible Amazon.
"YOU A2TE UNDERAGE LOL" Got that at 2am. Gotta stop dating alcoholics.
so I found out I could dislocate my shoulders on demand while I was trippin on e last night...
I just want to hook up with Ed Sheeran. Why does it have to be so difficult?
He said I have the “Denzel Washington” of vaginas.
I’ve gone two rounds already this morning and I’m ready for a third. The moon is in the house of sluticus hornius.
Randomize