Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
Hello Stephanie, you need to come pick me up at Par Blvrd correctional facility and bring $750-$1000 for bail. I just got a DUI. Thank you.
What!?!?! How are you txting?!
Because this is Officer Reynolds, and I just arrested your boyfriend.
Getting 10 cents back for every can is really just encouraging alcoholism.
i've been thru my totinos phase. then after reading the ingredients and nutritional info i almost puked in my mouth. its like having the bastard child of pizza hut and mcdonalds invade your kitchen and start stabbing your digestive system.
You took a fire extinguisher off the wall in the hallway to play Ghostbusters.
shes the only person ive ever met that could make "i don't swallow" sound sexy
he said that weed should be legal but that particular bong shouldn't be. i stared at a clock for an hour and a half after i ripped. so logically, i completely agree.
God and karma are having a fucking field day with my body today.
I just dumped bong water and Bacardi out of my purse into the trash can. Everything in my purse is soaked. I hate Sundays.
I really shouldn't be this use to hearing "YOURE THAT GIRL?!?!"
When the nurse referred to my vag as "your downstairs", I knew I found the perfect Doctors office.
It must suffice lest there secretly exist a picture of me walking out of the ocean at midnight naked and half mast with a sea urchin on my ass
I just singed the hair in my nose trying to re-light a joint. now all i can smell is burnt hair. day ruiner
You seriously don't remember crying about how much you miss your mom right before we hooked up?
Ah Christ I think I've reached the single life mentality 100%. I just inquired a photographer about a photo shoot with my dog.
Randomize
