You know you have a problem when you walk into your bathroom find kettle one in your shower and a note you wrote yourself when drunk that says "panties at jared leto's" on your counter
My co-worker just asked me if i colored my hair. Time to take a shower.
no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
To justify your stumbling you just kept yelling 'it's the boat, not the drinks' We hadn't even left the dock yet....
I just found your spare underwear and the half eaten granola bar you left in my purse.
Had "I should be in prison or dead" storytime at the bar. Found out James has done blow off a dead guy. Overwhelmed and speechless.
We can do this. We've been drunk at a gay bar, we will not be taken down by a Tuesday.
Sorry. Not doing life today. Love to. But can't.
My roommate definitely just walked in on me playing the piano naked.
By piano you mean.....
Like literally a piano.
Ohhhh that's kind of embarrassing.
If I walk downstairs and Kelly is fucking in the laundry room again I'm gonna die
Idk how much of a virgin he is but I'm tryna find out.
You realized your blanket was a snuggie, spread your arms, and yelled "tonight I sleep like jesus!"
It's routine now. He comes home from work and i ride him like a cowgirl with only a few sips of wine. I love being his neighbor.
What's a professional way to say get your shit in gear?
Randomize
