bahahaha. this guy working at subway literally has someone's name tattooed on his arm, crossed out, and another name below it.
How has he not realized you're pregnant?
Spanx.
Now there's vomit covered trash all over the front lawn. I feel accomplished
What I wanna know is who took a picture eiffel towering her?
going to a night class in lingerie so i can quickly go to his house after.
There is no way I am paying you $5 apiece for pot brownies you found behind a dumpster. $2, maybe.
With your fertility you would just get contact pregnant
He's upstairs shouting 'FUCK OFF I'M IN MY MOTHERFUCKING ZEN ZONE' out of the window.
Did he seem like the type of guy that would maybe take weed as payment?
I cried at the bar for 30 minutes because I got my arm stuck in my sweater. I got free drinks for the rest of the night after the bartender helped me.
UPDATE: IM NOT A TEEN MOM LETS GO PARTY
Was just messaged by someone in a Power Ranger suit on OkCupid... Figured you would approve
My husband has seen you naked more times this week than me. I don't consider it a bad thing since you keep bringing the booze to our house. And because my tits are bigger.
So I told him "To answer your question yes I am naked making pizza pops in your kitchen"
Drunk. Send nudes. Just curious.
Randomize
