5 Four Lokos being cheaper than a case should be illegal.
On my way home right now. I miss you. let's cuddle. whiskey.
I wish I could just thrust my cock straight into her new relationship.
pretty sure I offered to blow her dad. she's not speaking to me & he won't stop winking at me.
do you think semen can infect my impacted wisdom tooth
Note to self: semen does not count as food to take medicine with
I broke down outside of an all boys correctional facility
well if that's not a gay porn waiting to happen, i dont know what is...
I'm shotgunning a 12 pack at a bus stop. This is why we pay the rent with an auto withdrawal at the beginning of the month
The ONLY place I sext is in my anatomy class. It's an amped up level of playing doctor.
He just got really stoned and kept complementing my ponytail
Quick question—how good are you at digging holes? I mean, besides the one you've dug for yourself. asking for a friend
was i wearing any clothes at that point?
socks and a thong
BRIAN AND ANTHONY SPOON FED MY BROTHER MACARONI AND CHEESE WHILE HE WAS FUCKING ZARA. THEY WENT TO HIGHFIVE HIM AND ZARA WAS LIKE "WOO!" AND HIGHFIVED THEM FIRST
The guy i took home was a circus freak. He jerked off 3 times in front me after we had sex. And he came every time.
Gotta say, self-deprecating Lord of the Rings-themed sex jokes were not on my agenda for today.
Randomize
