why didn't you poke me back
she screamed "my eye!" and it brought me a surge of bad memories. except she was yelling about a lemon.
Ikeep having to ask jim if I'm actually talking. I canmt feel my body...this is what Christmas is all about
After we were done the second time she turned to me and called me a Hardcore Armadillo. Also, her O face involves crossed eyes. You tell me.
Just had a 10 minute long conversation with my cat about how if I died, and he needed to eat me to live, I'd totally be ok with it. Definitely still drunk.
Though I feel a moral obligation to take you there, point out all of the male supervisors and slap you on the wrist and yell, "NO!!"
I sent him a tit pic on accident and he replied with "nice ass"
She's passed out with a slice of pizza between her boobs should I just eat it and leave
Also, for real, though? Did we even have sex or were we just jumping on the bed drunk and naked...because with me that's actually a possibility.
I just quoted part of the Pokemon theme song in a sext... And it worked
I kinda forgave him after he laid next to me and rubbed my arm for four hours while I tripped balls.
What type of bandaid should I use on my clit
Getting a UTI was SO NOT on my wishlist for the holidays
I hit an all time low we ran out of coke and I met up with my dealer at 8 in the morning for a re-up. great customer service though.
The cards I get dealt on tinder now are karma for fucking a married man while I was in high school.
Randomize
