Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
Just found my girlfriend's stash of animated Japanese porn
And to think, I actually considered breaking up with her
Have u ever been so drunk that pissing urself felt like a better idea than walking to the bathroom? I entered those waters last night
Could you explain why there is an Australian passport in your toilet?
Why do I have peacock feathers super glued to my body?
having someone tell me to "prepare my vagina" is not really something I want to hear..
quit making up holidays to get me to go drinking with you
get back quick. that 17 year old who peed on your car wants to do shots.
Day #3 of being the only sober person at the bar. This is depression.
I feel like a cloud. A cloud that wants to be laid.
I don't think she considers it a date unless she publicly urinates
He told me I was "too flexible." Excuse me?
No matter how many miles separate us, I will always be here to get you through whiskey shots.
Aint no party like a Broke College Girls Eating Stuffed Crust Pizza party
Jesus fucking Mary Christ if I have to clean shit out of my fucking bathtub one more fucking time I'm gonna murder a fucking kitten
Randomize
