Happy Easter!!!
I'm an idiot
Most of the time people just stick whatever they want in my mouth. Thanks for letting me decide this time
he ate out my asshole, i really don't think he gets embarrassed easily.
At what point in my life was I not hugged enough to be on my fourth walk of shame in half as many weeks?
Was that not clear on Friday when I nearly deapthroated two ice cubes?
You're a college freshman. Its your job to be pathetic. And drunk. But mostly pathetic
I believe nudity is frowned upon at that establishment
I felt that there wouldn't be enough planB and forgiveness to go around
My suggestion is that you just get high and set shit on fire
Chang gave me a 1.5 gallon beer tasting cup, i have a new boyfriend with a huge stick, Members of the Irish Rugby team slapped my ass and cheered for firmness, and a couple of strangers are naming the child after me. Best. Weekend.Ever.
So what your saying is I can use her desperation to my advantage. Fuck, this must be how pretty girls feel.
I appreciate that you take the time to fix your typos even while masturbating
Well, she yelled at the stripper that she couldn't lick whipped cream off his nipples because she is lactose intolerant.
Also day 6: dick is healed and ready to go back to work.
I'm hoping the sedatives kick in before I drunkenly decide to eat this whole cheesecake.
Randomize
