do you know how bad I want you right now?
As bad as i want you to stop texting me?
is that a hint?
Now I know how you felt every time you had to listen to me have sex with a girl... mildly disguested yet marginally proud.
this one can actually spell my name, that's a shoe-in
this is like black Friday for my dealer. I'm literally standing in line.
he just came in and straightened the chair and left again
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
it's a gatorade, cheez its, and regret kind of morning....
You sir are most definitely in. Better get your penis an umbrella as that bad boy is gonna get soakkkkkkeddddd.
I have no idea how but i got a hold of a blue food dye packet. And proceeded to rub it all over my tits. So yeah i'd say its safe to say i'll be known as smurfette for a while
You were laying in a hotel bed drinking beer from a straw while you demanded everyone to kiss your foot tattoo.
On another note; I'm three days away from being 1/12th of my way from not having sex for a year. I need to get laid.
If he doesn't get here soon I'm taking off my thong and eating his dinner.
You introduced her by saying, "This is the girl who sexes me." Then you passed out on the coffee table.
just woke up with a trucker hat, half a grilled cheese, and popcorn spread everywhere. last night must have been good.
She's like a cask of Amontillado. Very tempting if I was drunk, but sober, I know I'll get fucked over in the end.
Randomize
