Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
I told him I'm not paying rent anymore because he's seen my boobs.
i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
I kept calling his name while we were having sex cuz i was so proud that i remembered it.
when we asked you if you had had anything to drink tonight you looked up from the toilet while cupping the water into your hands and said "this.. just this"
pretty sure I offered to blow her dad. she's not speaking to me & he won't stop winking at me.
I'm studying for my midterm by watching porn with Spanish subtitles. Surprisingly the words are still really distracting..
Rolled in at 3:30am from the strip club, with all the screaming I did, Siri doesn't even recognize my voice this morning,
how many times have i told you.. they dont like when you laugh during sex
Can you get snapchat back so I can show you all the places I threw up in/on last night?
Idk I'm drinking Sam Adams and wearing new balances so I'm basically a dad
Text me if something catches fire and I will put pants on
I don't care how hot he is. I will not strip for him to country music.
Hope everything goes ok. If it makes you feel better, I straightened vomit into my hair and killed a bird earlier.
I just got promised sex at a fire station tonight so basically all my porn star dreams are coming true.
Randomize
