hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
Dude you can't just initiate a threesome via twitter
We are casual work acquaintances that occasionally fuck when the urge strikes. CWATOFWTUS. I know FWB rolls off the tongue better but it is what it is.
you have failed as an in class drinking partner.
you said candy land and then passed out.
ps. we found your stash in the candyland game. Thanks.
We had a weird moment. Mid-sex he started talking. It went along the lines of "I. FUCKING. LOVE.....this condom..."
Well, let's see..I held him while he cried for 30-40 minutes, woke up on his couch AND he gave me a ride home in his underwear. Shit show is not even the half of it.
My dad wants to dress like mitt Romney tomorrow night and tell trick or treaters they owe him candy.
Yes ma'am.Im also looking at my collection of penis pictures in my email playing "who;s penis is that"?
Also if i get drunk and start crying about the elephants you all have my permission to abandon me.
I think I'm just going to get a farm, a vibrater, and a lot of wine.
I'm going to target high, just in case I ask you where my paycheck went later
that guy was staring at your tits.
nah, more like they were staring at him, and his girlfriend, and her less than adequate bosom. they pitied the fool.
point taken, oh mistress of the bosoms.
After the 2nd person threw up, you told us that your 'mint shooters' were just shots of mint mouthwash
Randomize
