i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
I love how my brain works. It's like being on drugs without the costly upkeep.
the pizza man had no reaction when jackie and me opened the door naked, i guess he's used to that shit
No... We were arguing over whose family is more dysfunctional... Then my brother stumbled in and puked all over jakes ugly dog.
So I'm probably the first guy in history to tap out of a blowjob.
i'm sitting in the second floor bathroom drinking coronas in the shower. do not find me.
There's holes in the drywall and the beer pong table is a broken door on two barstools. You know they like to party.
I'm pretty sure I have enough material at this point to start a blog called Guys I've Banged in Pictures together. Why does this keep happening to me!
Like, you've got the smoothest dick in the west. Do you moisturize?
Yes I do
eating chex mix on the couch when he walks in naked and asks how he looks. are you shitting me.
I think I was just hit on by Jesus Christ. This is not okay. Bad Touch. I NEED AN ADULT!
Calm the hell down, it's just stoner Bob.
Even with help how did you paint a bullseye around your asshole?
i just passed i guy i once let listen to me masterbate on the phone...nyc is not big enough
i want to say his dick was in it but not his heart
My dad is clearly baked off his ass. He almost sat on moms cat in front of her, zoned out while staring at it and said he wondered what it was thinking about. Now he's dragging everything from the livingroom into the garage. Moms not happy.
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