I just made easy mac in my blender. Beat that.
I'm too hungover to be in a fucking cow suit right now
If I refrain from fucking my manager, I'm going to reward myself by fucking that guy from the photo department.
I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
omg dinner turned into a foam party this is weiriiid
She just landed. Popped over for a BJ and left. I'm a fan of layover layovers.
I keep confusing the name of her and her dog. Both are appropriate.
And. I know i am a gay man cause when i saw the pic of his cock his feet were in it and i am like what the fuck?
the only good thing about going home with him was that he was prettier than me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm not sure when I will get off this toilet at work but it's not looking promising
...I just melted into my bed. I am one with the bed. I am 600 thread count.
He wanted to save my dignity, I just wanted beads and jäger
I cannot believe all 4 of us had sex at the same time, in the same bed... And it didn't turn into a foursome..
Oh. My. God. I. Am. Going. To. Punch. Someone. In. The. Face. Immediately.
I don't know whether to cheer for the free bourbon, or cry from the screaming children.
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