the guy I was hooking up with asked me if he could wear a guerilla suit during sex.
And when we woke up we made beer pancakes. Great start to a family picture day.
He just ordered a bottle of Beam at an Italian place for us to share.
i just like, need to vent to someone
Can we skip the part where I pretend to care and fast forward to the appreciative blowjob from you?
I'm hiding out in the living room until he falls back asleep. If he catches a whiff of my tits, it's all over. I just need to play it cool. Babies can smell fear
they're doing drop shots of Jager into red wine. i don't want to be on that level
She was kinda cute. So long as you don't mind neck tattoos and bad life choices.
Dude, those shrooms u gave me made me remember writing the bible. Fuckn awesome
Handcuffs are allowed in carry on luggage :) just checked
So that guy from plenty of fish has a lightning bolt tattooed on his face. I kinda feel like I HAVE to sleep with him now.
Taking body shots off hot Camren. Get here now.
Do the security cameras outside your house capture sound? If so your whole family is going to hear me describe my threesome
CyberMonday=Bulk Condom Shopping For 2018
He's literally cuddling with the washer and dryer.
So i dislocated my knee but still went home and fucked his brains out. Nothing gets in the way of my sex life. NOTHING.
Randomize
