Hi, I just found this phone under my seat at a brewers game and seeing as you're entered in as 'fillllatio' I figured I'd ask you if you know the illiterate ass who owns this phone. Thanks :)
I asked him where the store BJ's was and he unzipped his pants.
smoking weed is really the only logical conclusion to hangovers
I have no idea. After the fireworks it all went to shit. Do you know why I woke up with a road sign?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
I feel like I knew it was fucked up, but feared that god would take my dick away if I didn't use it last night.
My crowning drunk achievement from that night was donating $5 to the Obama campaign.
You're perfect
First day back to class and I have already pulled out the hard liquor
We are making a pool on how long he stays sober this time you want in?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You just want me for my pizza coupons and my penis.
One of the worst parts about living at my parents again is trying to hide how often I'm hungover, just quietly puked in the basement bathroom while my mom got ready for work
Last time I "ran into him" I ended up with the clap and had to explain why the ladder was missing from the garage.
did i get sucker punched in the face last night or was our make-out session just that intense?
I remember being like "I can't hold both of you guy's hair back!" so I put headbands on each of you
Beer Olympics must happen in honor of the legit Olympics.
Randomize