So she said grabbing my cock was like holding a giant crayola from pre-school.
that was the beginning of the end.
as evidence of my kitchen this morning my night involved alot of mustard and condoms
so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
God dammit, you have a cape and I don't even have a fucking jacket.
Yeah he had his two razors labeled "face" and "pubes". Should I be disgusted or impressed?
I'm sorry I dragged a dildo (on a leash) into your room last night.
It's cheaper then a lap dance and you get your hair cut.
They just kept handing me shots and saying welcome to college
He acted like he was sleep fucking because I woke up to him screwing me in the middle of the night and he had is eyes closed and was mumbling things the whole time and wouldn't respond to me.
Is that even possible?
I called him by the wrong name to test him and he instantly stopped, rolled over and acted like he was still sleeping...I think he might break up with me tomorrow.
Occasionally I curse my inner 15 year old when I'm fulfilling their dreams as a slut, but I roll with it.
I've been here 20 minutes and a sweaty naked man has kissed me on the cheek.
I have the rest of my life to settle down this is totally time for friends and pizza
Is it possible to hurt your vagina working out, because I think my Dumbass accomplished that... 😯😟😒😓
Do I even want to know?
At about 2:30 i found you passed out in my closet with your face covered in cheese whiz
I'm really excited to meet your new dude! But we really need to find out if he's your cousin first.
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