if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
when you close your eyes do you see, that mystical creature will be me.
who is this?
so i definitely just saw 2 cops high five each other as they were arresting underage drinkers in 5 points.
We watched 'the mighty ducks' last night and took shots every time someone quacked. I woke up this morning wearing a nothing but a hockey jersey laying next to him on the floor. He was wearing a goalie mask. I really wish I knew what happened.
You tipped the bathroom lady $20 and then yelled "IT'S YOUR LUCKY DAAAAAAAY" at her.
i had the all of mcdonalds chanting USA as he motorboated you
He's just so adorable. And I don't want to fuck someone who's adorable.
My family will be here in an hour and I'm deciding between doing my makeup or saying fuck it and wearing what's left of last night's...
Ugh he's so pretty though. He bit my face at the bar because I tried to steal his ID and I forgave him
earned some solid air miles from the plan B I just bought. #silverlinings
My boobs smell like weed again. This happens way too often.
Just cuz you've got the biggest dick I've ever seen doesn't mean u can wake me up at 2 am
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns
I was just told I’m pretty enough to be a catfish. This made me so happy...
One can only be this extremely wet once a year and I feel like I'm bitch slapping god by not using this gift he has bestowed on me.
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