I just woke up in bed next to my teacher. Does that mean I'm passing now?
This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
i just watched kanye west and taylor swift have a chugging contest. why cant halloween be every day
do you know how scary it is to wake up in a CATSCAN machine after a night of drinking?
I'm really tired of cleaning up my twitter the morning after
We woke up, fucked twice, she drank 3 warm heinekins to cure her hangover and said "Im glad you're still hott when im sober"
the boat had a sign not to jump off the roof of it, which gave us the idea to jump off the roof of it
Best dream ever last night. You moved here. Your Spanish name meant highway. Your favorite food was styrofoam.
it's only monday and im already failing all my classes. i give up. tequila tuesday is my only friend.
I definitely pole-danced a parking meter outside a party last night. The cheering was appreciated.
It's like they're playing jeopardy and the category is "things that make women dry."
Come over. But instead of sex, will you rub anti itch cream all over my face?
Aint no party like a Broke College Girls Eating Stuffed Crust Pizza party
My boobs smell like weed again. This happens way too often.
this old people party is bangin. they have apple cider with everclear in it
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