the pool opens at 11. by 1115 the ambulance had been called.
It just hit me that i made out with someone's mom last night
Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
i just hugged the lady at the liquor store goodbye for the summer...
Don't be alarmed at the girl laying on your bathroom floor.
I took us ten minutes to realize the shower sex going upstairs was the reason the kitchen ceiling was flooding.
Remember camping when you drank 36 beers to yourself in one day and puked in your tent? Ready for round 2?
Idk. I was speaking metaphorically. Go for it. As one of your bad decisions, I feel confident in saying you've done worse.
Please tell me that chemistry equipment is for chemistry and not for producing felonies.
Wake your sexy ass up. It's donut time.
The paramedics were not my fault this time.
I want to be a supportive friend to her, but I also want to sleep with her ex now that he's single.
We have moved from phase 1: honeymoon, to phase 2: trapped in relationship until the cold embrace of death
I woke up just like any other Wednesday. Naked on the floor, hungover and covered head to toe in lube
She is either doing really drawn out crunches or trying to sniff her boobs...She's lying on her back with her hand behind her head, forcing her head into the cleavage that's ok to expose and then moves her head back and then does it again.
Randomize
