if you come down to my room ill tell you a secret
I had a disgustingly explicit dream last night involving myself and lil wayne.
I don't think ill make it tonight the floor wont let me walk
so my bro's bff came over...we had an awkward "yeah we fucked and can fuck later, but let's just pretend it didn't happen in front of the family" hug.
I mean, it really isn't YOUR car until you have sex in it.
I'm drinking margaritas out of a soup mug, of course I'm going to get wasted
Mother nature decided I wasn't going to be a whore today. Fuck her.
I'm thinking I had intended to send you pics cuz I woke up naked
Well after last night it's official...I cannot die...it time to use this power for good instead of handle contests
Idea for the cake. Joints for candles. Do it.
I think I saw maybe 3 ugly girls the entire time we were there
Yea its like that frat house was built to keep fat chicks out of parties
i feel like spreading the word of drunken joy.
If I die it's either cuz I undercooked my burger or because I used questionable cheese. I have no pants on, so if there's a wellness check, you go in first.
This makes me appreciate being single with no prospects.
I have to stop at Sheetz to put my bra back on before I meet you hold on
Randomize
