So remember when i bet you that girl uses dick to validate her existence?
...yea
She's valid.
you left with a lisa lampanelli lookalike... i hope she was atleast funny
She really thought E.D. was a sexually position.
I'm having sex on a snuggie, yes i stopped to text you
you said "tonight pinky, we take over the world" and then came in my face
She soaked the fruit in vodka for ten minutes and then mixed it with normal fruit and sherbert icecream. It was called "lottery fruit".
He let me keep his flannel as a "good job" for the great head I gave him.
what started as sign language exam pre-drinks to calm the nerves turned into me waving at a deaf woman for 20 minutes
there's a girl in the coffee shop just eating a pint of ben & jerry's
SMART GIRL
I'm confused are we getting high or did someone actually die?
I just wish my penis was a person so I could give him a high five.
You'll pass into the great gay beyond
Where it rains cosmopolitans and scantily clad gogo dancers of all genders direct traffic
I bought 10 disposable adhesive bras and duct tape. If Home Depot can't help my breasts defy gravity, nothing will...
LMAO
My dick has been in way too much crazy the past 2+weeks, but hey it feels good to fuck consistently again
I like to listen to classical music when I eat taco bell. I think it cancels out the aura of poverty and desperation.
Randomize
