it was like fucking gandolphs beard
we got hammered off table wine and i ended up biting my acrylic nail off so i could finger his butt.. ill never look at valentines day the same
I need a picture of your dick for my friends birthday card
I wonder if our vaginas are like "o thank god, no strangers breaking in tonight." Baahhhh sooo bad
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You're the only true friend I have, if true friendship is based off who would be there for me at 4am during a boxed wine crisis.
she's unstoppable after she starts doing shots and yelling NANNER
when i got home she was standing in my front yard not wearing a shirt and halfway crying/ halfway laughing
That's why you need to have them together. Katie started crying on the couch and she just gave her a tube of crackers and picked up a beer at the same time. She's like a goddess of making things chill
he had shaved armpits. I repeat: HE SHAVED. HIS. ARMPITS! First hookup of 2014 and it's with a weirdo. Alcohol:1 Me:0
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Look, you don't know disfunction until you've sat on the john taking a shit and crying while totally sober.
Just licked cheese from my hot pocket off my phone. I spilled because I was eating a Popsicle at the same time. Send an adult please
So it was all good until she started grabbing my beard and telling me to "roar little lion"
Note to self: Calvin Klein's are not safe to shit in.
I just paid my school fees like a real adult who doesn't get accidentally drunk on a Tuesday night
He has no idea I'm scrolling through Instagram while he's going down on me. I'm so bored.
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