I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
Hotel room at 3 am. She's 42. Stockings and heels. All because I opened with a joke about cougar hunting. We'll high-five later.
It's cold our but I feel like a very blazed penguin
I just woke up and shes still asleep next to me with her vibrator inside her and on. Whats normal protocol for this situation?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i dont know what it was but it was definately NOT a vagina
I just realized that I'm gonna have to lower my standards if I want random head.
HOW DID U BEAT A GAY GUY IN GAY CHICKEN?
You did a strip tease for the toilet.
Im drunk on a hayride surrounded by toddlers. they are judging me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
there is a dorito bag in my car full of my mouth blood
Hey, thanks for not calling the cops when I answered the door naked, high as fuck, and covered in red velvet cake batter.
Can't beat it when the local bar sends you off with a loaf of bread on the way out the door.
Well. I had to explain to my niece that the word cunt is not an abbreviation for country. I'm the best aunt in the world.
Im about to get an ultrasound of my balls. I hate waiting. Its the worst.
Started my new year off by being hospitalized with pneumonia. You?
Found out I'm pregnant.
I'll stick with pneumonia.
Randomize