you could play connect the dots with the people ive fucked in this room
I just offered a homeless man a meal from McDonald's, and he replied "I don't eat McDonald's food". That is the epitome of "begger's can't be choosers."
I just saw "i'm bigger then that" as her facebook status. Would it be better to make a fat joke or correct her grammar?
He managed to light the Jello on fire...
Why do my balls have what looks like rust on them?
There is a guy, stoned out of his mind, only wearing slippers and a bathrobe in the library.
He was drinking a long island through his Breathalyzer tube.
I'm sorry but I require more work than your hamster. I need food, a minimum of 5 pillows, and I need to be played with daily.
The silhouette of his dick looked like an eagle. Amurrican.
No more. You can't have nice things, and vodka is a nice thing.
I don't think he cares about your inhospitable uterus.
I just look at my butt and see so much potential.
Mom and I shoplifted today. Her idea.
Retirement sounds fun.
He must've been a bear in a previous life. My nipple is bleeding. Shit's sensitive.
Snorted a dorito chip for 1$. Cross that off the bucket list.
Randomize
