I think my vagina is haunted
thanks for being my friend even though im irresponsible with my vagina
i threw up on the blunt... he was pissed.
i wish we had morning classes together so we can spike our coffee.
just went back to the bar and asked if they found a shoe last night.
I thought he was joking about the hundred beer challenge until two guys showed up with a camera and boom mic. This cabin party is going to be fucked
You never cared about felonies while buying me alcohol from the little Asian woman across the street
Beautiful fucking linguistics Shakespeare, but youre still not doing that to my face
Just because you graduated a semester early, doesn't mean you can take a semester off of drinking. Sorry.
No im just getting a road beer. You got my pants?
If man night ends at some point, hit me up and let me prove my vagina still exists.
He seems like a super lonely dude. I bet if I gave him a picture of my tits he wouldn't make me turn in this paper.
my nose is crying tears of wow.
Correction: Jimmy johns. The one pita pit employee has been an asshole to me ever since you locked them out of the store
Nothing like introducing yourself to your high school boyfriend's wife as "the girl who took his virginity"
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