dude. late night with jimmy fallon isnt even funny. the people in the audience there to see him dont even think hes funny.
kinda like you and your friends.
Took her home last night and it was like trying to put an oyster in a slot machine. I may have drank a little too much.
yesterday, he said he didn't trust me around his daughter because "if she was wrapped in rolling paper u'd smoke her." yup.
we marched down beaver avenue with lit tiki torches humming the olympics opening song.
You took a bag of frozen peas to bed wiith you "to help with the inflamation".
yeah, she started doing yoga and cocaine....looks good on her.
I'm wearing the jeans from casino night. Tell me why I have a napkin in my pocket that says 'dont fear me'? I'm hoping it was just a coincidence.
Yeah Greg found him eating out of a tuna can with a pill cap
"it's Wednesday" isn't a good enough excuse to take my debit card and use it for your own drunken needs. You owe me 250 bro
Omg I'm puking right now and then sneezed four times in a row. You don't know pain til this happens to you.
I think weed is turning my hair brown
I have 80 very blurry photos of you on a stripper pole...
Oh yeah, you are a real peach except for shitting uncontrollably and bleeding out of your face.
Spencer just told me I got home and was opening beers with my teeth and trying to make pot butter
He just told me I was beautiful, whilst I peed into a cup. If this isn't love I don't know what is.
Randomize
