This threesome is so guaranteed that dinner feels like a charade
Mid thrust he tells me that we have bio together
Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
I didn't budget in chasers this month so were chasing everything with water. Sorry.
Like I said I'm looking on the bright side. The bright side just happens to be filled with penis attached to hot marines
Thanks for alerting everyone in our apartment what your one night stand's name is. Could you scream a little louder?
I mean it was his birthday. How was I supposed to tell him he could not wear a sombrero while we bang.
These welts and bruises from letting gay boys whip my thighs last night are a clear indication i should lay off the tequila.
I threw up in a Buffalo Wild Wings and then got a high-five. I really don't understand America
She's started this new thing where whenever she drives by random couples talking alone outside she yells "break up! this is your sign!"
I'm playing drinking games with a boy who looks like Liam Hemsworth. I think I'm fine.
Note to self: don't try to shave your legs when sex-sore. You CANT reach, stop trying.
I know you like got hit by a car but do you want to come to my birthday pardi
Yeah I know my dick is weird, but I've surprisingly had a lot of fun with it.
The fact that I’m not married yet means there are millions of lucky girls out there who have dodged a bullet
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