Shitting during a conference call is so empowering.
you made pancakes with beer, you said they were good. then you threw up 15 minutes later
the bottle said: caution extremely flammable. so that was my motivation.
He gets a blow job; I get my oil changed free of charge. And that way I only see him every 2500 miles.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just found bud in my hair....gotta love curls
I want you to come over here and spit coffee in my mouth like a momma bird feeding a baby bird. That hung over.
I have no idea. But I feel like I could climb a mountain and then have sex on it.
So this is where people who peaked in high school come to drink?
Dude. I've never been with a guy who just wanted to go down on me all the time including while I'm shooting zombies on call of duty. My life is complete.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
bitch i am allowed to be rude i just fought cold hard porcelain with my face
this periodpocalypse needs to be over. I need head
How do u ask ur friend if shes keeping her kid but in a chill way
its 2pm and were already starting beer pong...its gonna be a good night
Just fell down the stairs..might wanna call the ambulance jus take the weed out of my pocket be4 they come..
First day of school is awesome. I get to meet my students and figure out which of their mothers I’ I’m going to bang
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