it was terrible. i could've done a better job by myself.
The new Black Eyed Peas song is the stupidest shit I've heard since the last Black Eyed Peas song.
Um don't talk to me about fat. I just used my chip bag to cover up all my candy wrappers in the garbage.
I brought up my Bobbly Flay drinking game in the interview. Of course I got the job.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Drunk. I slept-stripped.
By myself.
remember.. you're not a homewrecker.. you're just creating options for him..
You didn't know it was a gay bar until the 7th guy rejected you. You were crying because you thought it was just a bad night. No more for you.
A girl just told me she printed out my pictures and taped them on her wall. I have to stop sleeping with virgins.
I'm giving you a get out of sober free card for one of the nights
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Its only 9:11 and I just somersaulted through a window. Its gonna be a good night
Can we pretty pretty please go to Mardi Gras tomorrow? I promise I'll be a good girl and not puke in a pledges car
I just realized I'm currently not eating carbs, drinking alcohol or having sex. 2014 is off to a horrible start.
Pretty sure when I woke up the next morning we were still fucking. It just didn't stop.
There's a big difference between a penis and a toilet.
This is a hangover from hell. Delivered by the devil himself.
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