Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
she was stuffing dove chocolates in my mouth while giving me a blow job. GOD I LOVE VALENTINES DAY
I was just stopped at a stop sign waiting for the moon to turn green.
You overflowed the toilet cuz you tried to flush apples. you said they were singing too loudly
Just pretend you're riding a unicorn through space. Thats how I deal with the stirrup situation at the gyno office.
A little light bondage fun never hurt anybody (erotic asphyxiation excluded). Car batteries attached to reproductive organs have.
i think he spiked my sandwich with a viagra
Haha keeping the dream alive until Chinese New Year. I'm jobless with stitches in my face.
I need rollerblades now
Rollerblades pick up bitches
Dude. My knees have no hair on them and they're bruised. My thigh is killing me. I have about 1000 texts to about 5 exes which I horribly regret. I have pictures of my own penis on my phone. I can't find my iPad. And I have work in an hour.
Got too starbucks. 3out of the 4 girls working i have ducked and haven't ever called. My coffee has dick written on it. It may contain spit by pumpkin lattes are only once a year
The alcohol tastes like we did a beer run at the nail salon
I looked so sad that Jessica gave me a bar of soap. So that's where I'm at.
You're wasting your dick. It needs to be bestowed upon the masses.
No problem...what are friends for if they can't rub eachothers genitals.
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