her teeth looked like a whores toenails, i was too horrified to
in hindsight, drinking 2 bottles of wine probably wasnt going to put me in an optimal position for a job interview
i need a wealthy benefactor or a cocktail job. or to start stripping. or kill myself. whatever.
It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
who the fuck is that kid sitting with you...
I don't have any fucking idea. I woke up and he was there. I'm kinda creeped out.
At least drunk you showered before switching sex partners last night.
Homegirl just dropped a candle on the floor major party foul. Thought it make you feel better.
I found out you can't leave the bar with a drink. I also found out that pouring it on the bouncers shoes is also unacceptable.
Dude she pregamed for her sorority's philanthropy.
I think I'm still drunk and I think you were in my dream (sadly, it was not a sexual bill murray one).
I'm gonna hire strippers dressed like the founding fathers.
I got so drunk at the hockey game I bought everyone behind me in concession line a funnel cake.
Did you drink ALL that 151??
No. We drank all the jaeger... Then used the 151 to start the fire. We're also out of paper towels... And your hairspray is flammable.
I offered the opportunity to grope my boobs for pints. Two girls took me up.
We left Waffle House and he took off running five miles down the road saying we were "training for the Olympics." And I mean, I couldn't leave him out there like that...
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