I finally had kitchen counter sex! i was so excited
I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
Where else am I to apply my creativity?
I don't know. Anywhere productive and not involving sex toys would be a start.
Xanax and allergy medicine look a lot alike when you spill them on the floor. Just saying that I still have allergies but I'm unsure if I still have legs
I just got hard thinking about a crunch wrap. Im done
Just found a 7-11 receipt for new years eve at 1:30 am apparently we felt the need to buy three jars of pickles and a gallon of milk does this ring any bells?
Yeah that's one way to look at it on the other hand MY FUCKING BED CAUGHT ON FUCKING FIRE
His penis without viagra is what breaks my heart.
U thinks that's bad? He told me that he had to envision high school wrestling in order to bust a nut with some girl
I have a rage boner right now. An actual erection brought on by the amount of sheer hatred I have towards nationwide.
I chased him for half a mile, lost him then somehow ended up at his house. Is that still considered stalking? I WAS drunk.
And tan into my neighbor in the elevator. She was going to the gym. I was covered in mascara and dog hair eating a hash brown
I was planning out a scrapbook to memorialize my affair.......and that's when it hit me, I don't make good choices. On the upside, the scrap book came out great and I am glad I saved all the gate passes from the airport.
she brought her phone charger to the bar this bitch is ready to drink
I'm going to be there later than expected. There was a yo-yo incident...
Randomize
