Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
I'm getting drunk watching the disney channel. Is this a main reason why we aren't together anymore?
You bet me 100 dollars that the Raiders would win the super bowl this year. I have it on tape.
made out with three guys on the first night of college orientation, just imagine what joys all of next year will hold
Just took my pill on time for two days in a row. I deserve a prize.
Not having phil's child is good enough.
What's the kids name that was drinking stale beer and redbull out of the blender?
we put a pacifier in your mouth because you kept drunkenly singing country music.
You almost set me on fire last night.
You probably deserved it.
I gave up trying to understand them years ago. Now I'm just trying to fuck them.
So scratching an ex marines beard, telling him "nice hairy pussy." then when he opens his mouth to respond, I started fingering his mouth. Needless to say was a horrible idea
Then that is decided. Fuck away my little bunny rabbit.
I swear to god....if you can give yourself a brazilian you can take a fucking bullet
Seriously. If I'd known all it took was a 29 year old UPS guy to make me feel THIS SEXY, I'd have been fucking them for 30 years.
Ahh yes. I lost my pants and swimming suit and phone charger. And I've found out who has them all even while hungover. Successful day. Nice party too.
I'm eating a bagel on the toilet and watching porn. Trust me, I've got my priorities straight.
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