3:26am: come over
you purposely dodge me and you could have stopped me from leaving, you know how far i live. YOU come over
4:11am: mnlodp
dude I don't understand hebrew and I'm not coming over
You drinking a lot?
No.
Define a lot
So I finally got the Patron washed off my boobs.
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
I understand Curling. That high.
He took the lighter and said "this is how I give myself a bikini wax."
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
I think I found out what we're going be for Halloween....Alcohol poisoning victims.
I'm mumbling to people and trying not to accidentally shit my pants
I wonder how your parents would feel if the scarf they gave me for Christmas is mainly being used for a blindfold during sex...
I swear she looks like a sloth.... I'll toss a coin...
he had a beard, sexy nerd glasses and kept referring to his penis as 'this dick' its like jesus was saving my perfect match for my prime
I woke up with a bunch of jolly ranchers and an eight ball in my purse. Successful
Should we make a shared Google doc list of places we want to fuck? Like a scavenger hunt?
Is it a bad thing when vodka doesn't taste like vodka anymore?
Randomize
