Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
benefit of terrorism--they won't let you buy random one way plane tickets to random parts of the country for no reason nonmatter how high you are.
you were going around the whole club telling people to smell ur purse
I just had a cup of orange juice and thought it didnt taste right. It didnt have vodka in it.
I guess I've just seen a lot of penises since then
I just held a marble with my kegel muscles for 5 min. You may call me COCKCLAMP 9000!!!!
There should be a promo code on the Papa Johns website for "I have no moneys but if you send a cute delivery guy I will pay him in blow jobs."
Well for decently drunk, in the woods, last-person-i-should-be-hooking-up-with sex, i thought it was pretty good.
HE WAS DRESSED LIKE A FISHERMAN AND HE WAS LIKE OH SHIT I THINK I JUST FOUND THE DEADLIEST CATCH i couldnt not go for it my honour compelled me
He was stoned and starts screaming, "I ain't got but a dollar, I wanna hear waterfalls!". Maybe he can hang with us....
I can't believe you cupped pat's balls to prove your fake relationship
*swallows 40 gallons of heavy water and astral projects into buzzfeed* Top Ten Reasons Why I Am God
Shut up. The only friend I need in life is Jim Beam because life is meaningless.
Yeaaaaa...im super disgusted with myself lol...which is interesting, considering all of the things I have done in my life...
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