she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
my dad told me i had to spend my money wisely..so i spent the money he gave me for a desk chair on weed. ill be so high i wont even notice its gone
So then I sent a pic msg of the Magnum XL box to her friend
Just getting around to doing laundry. Jesus there's a lot of blood on my birthday dress.
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
I think I just fucked my first person born during the Clinton administration
ride him like a prized pony all the way to orgasm town.
He's trying to impress me with how much money he makes. How does he know me so well?
Just to warn you I probably wont be able to do anything that involves standing up
You do realize how pathetic it is when the woman who does your bikini waxes has seen your vagina more than I have
YET AGAIN, my financial planning for 2013 consists MOSTLY of eating chipotle as "brain food" and drinking Heavily before the Jeopardy contestant test.
I would love a rich wife. Then I would be like a gym teacher or some shit. Bigfoot hunter maybe.
...I think I just watched a boy make a sandwich seductively. What.
Yeah, sorry about that. Dropped the phone on my face while I was watching porn.
I've decided it's okay if I take a pregnancy test every month. Then I can be like, "Good job, self, way to not procreate this month!"
Randomize
