my underwear are soaked with white zifandel yet i have continued to wear them despite the fact im at home
I had never watched a guy jack off to me before, but let me tell you, it was a very uncomfortable experience.
I'm gonna laugh so hard when we're both married with families
That statement alone makes me laugh so hard.
his genitalia just looks like a thumbs up. a really really small thumbs up.
He's more than prepared to help us move. Dude brought sunscreen, cans of Coke, and Captain Morgan.
Theme for your birthday? Beer olympics in S&M costumes? Sounds like a nice little saturday
She pulled a wad of lint out of my bellybutton while she was blowing me. Said she's never seen anything like it. I've never gone soft so fast.
As I fucked him you stood outside my door screaming, "I'M NOT JUDGING YOU!" over and over.
I was judging you.
I like to feed my guinea pigs before I get stoned. In case they get contact high and get the munchies. It's only polite.
I don't think that calm, have their shit together people actually exist.
Sometimes I just want to kiss you without you pulling ur cock out and waving it at me
Don't blame me. My vagina leads me astray.
BTW, Julia referred to you as a power bottom. Are you available?
You were yelling at the mannequin and saying "DON'T LOOK AT ME"
The neighborhood cougar just purred at me while I was doing yard work. I’m terrified and tumescent
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