Tipsy and thinking of you. Talk tomorrow. My alliteration is awesome.
she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
debating whether or not to save the package from my first plan b pill. it would be a nice addition to any baby book.
New BDSM fun fact. When you get spanked hard enough with a flat object, you get welts. Welcome to thunderdome, bitches.
Straight up asked lady in a lime green jumpsuit how to make your ass clap. That thing wiggled more beautifully than ocean waves at sunset
Dude you were sitting in front of me eating uncooked bow tie pasta...
Oh my god. That was the best half-hour of my life that didn't involve genitals.
not even kidding I just received the single most greatest head I have ever had.. It was unreal. It was like stick my dick into a silk bag of puppy ears.
Her alarm in the morning was Best Day Ever from Spongebob. I'm have lots of conflicting feelings right now...
man my uterus needs to drop the egg or GTFO, BUUUSHIT
I found you laying in a field of grass near the trail I jog on in the morning like a drunken Bambi.
Lost and found: pink cotton underwear next to my bed and soaking wet Reebok socks or boxers in a plastic bag...in my fridge🤔
Sustenance and doggy style.. the only two things I need
found a note from drunk me saying "don't worry i fed the mice". WHAT MICE?
so let me get this straight you just stared at his boner all night?
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