Ill do this for you.
You are a team player.
This is me making up for not putting my tongue inside you more.
you started texting yourself and saying they were "divine messages from heaven" then you threw up on stacie's piano.
I have some memory of taking a dump in a guitar case.
i should not be allowed to orgasm that much in one day.
Already puke and ralleyd and dressed like a bear.
Why were you having sex on top of my left over pizza in the kitchen?
The gym is handing out free condoms this week, motivation to work out this week?
Turns out, his fucking is as lame and staggered as his NFL career.
He answered his phone while he was eating me out and proceeded to yell at his wife for interrupting lunch...impressed or rock bottom?
I don't know what possessed you to do that, but you have to give the stripper more money before you try to check her oil or they are going to throw us out every time you do that.
Could have been worst, could have seen me bent over biting her carpet while her son was inside me, i think i would have respnded with "i was just trying to be quiet"
I HAVE PIZZA MONEY AT ALL TIMES IT'S CALL EMERGENCY PLANNING
I gave a handjob to the beat of uptown fuck last night
Honestly after an incomprehensible political rant yoga seems like the best option at 2 am
I gave her a cheerful high five and she turned to me and said, "we should do that with our genitals." I may have to marry this girl.
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