i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
Google if cops ever smoke weeds and then bust them. I need to know immidiately.
Is there a "Plan B" app for my iphone?
Had to use Google translator to be able to tell the cleaning lady not to throw away the condoms we have strategically placed throughout the house.
His little brother walked in on us. Six times.
I dont know if he should be happy or mad about it but he's too big for a blow job.
Spent the last thirty minutes staring at the wall with Leah. It's definitly moving
I just beer bonged. Soco and spite please get on my levvl my hair is in buns
Me either. I want to get 'chase a stray cat through the neighborhood in my hooker heels' drunk. And it's your birthday, so you have to get 'best friend holding your hair while you puke in the bar bathroom and cry about your life' drunk. In a feather boa.
Omg. I wanna lecture the drug dealer about how highschool should not be his glory days.
I'm so drunk. Liken realign drink
Like really drunk?
Or did you enjoy repositioning your drink?
Idk she didn't seem that weird to me but I had just eaten an entire tray of jello infused with liquor so I could be wrong...
I'm storing dick pics, so basically if I'm still single after residency...ur gonna get bombarded. It's gonna be a blizzard of dicks.
Feel free to keep your blizzard of dicks to yourself.
...hi
YOU SHOULD BE ASHAMED OF YOURSELF
Ok cool I was afraid you'd never speak to me again. I can work with this.
he's annoying when i'm sober but vaguely hot when i'm drunk so yes i do have a preference and it goes by the name of vodka
Randomize
