once we finished he held up the condom and asked if i wanted to keep it as a souvenir.
oh and he was serious.
the reason why you were crawling on your hands and knees from room to room last night was because you thought the ceiling fans were chasing you...
that makes sense.
chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
I need to stop making out with boys in plain view of half my class.
He looked like Harry Potter. I had to do it.
No but the chipped one is crooked now. Clearly I didn't use my hands to break my fall. I used my face
I dont care how drunk you were. Making a bet with MY husband at MY wedding that you could seal the deal before he could is ALWAYS inappropriate!
You told us that you don't have to wait in line at Taco Bell. Then, drove up to the window and grabbed someone else's food.
Some dude with an OSU jersey just kissed him in the face in front of everyone. I should mention he's wearing a Panda costume. And has already been offered $20 for his suit by Plushies for oral sex.
Tell me how you feel about belly buttons
best eviction party ever.
it wasn't an eviction party you asshole, you just happened to get yourself evicted during the party.
I know I've become a responsible adult because this time, I'm not going to do the drugs I found on the ground
He screamed like a woman when he came then proceeded to sing "you [we] are the champion" by Queen. I think I'm in love.
Interesting fact: if you wanted to rename a guy Jeff, just tell him you only fuck Jeffs. Magically whatever name he was using is actually his middle name cause he doesn't like going by Jeff.
I know right. I don't even want to have sex today. I did anyway but that's besides the point.
I did a line off of, and then danced on top of a table older than this country.
Harvard is great.
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