i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
You think if I promise to behave for the rest of my life, god will let me fuck her on the regular?
Going to Kmart high is like jumping in a time machine back to the 80s
He said he had to make up a lie of why he couldnt sleep with her. It must really suck to have a sunburned dick.
she actually told me to ignore the cokeheads in the corner with knives.
when did my "fat clothes" just become my clothes...diet starts tomorrow
He literally just walked in some random persons house and walked right to they're pantry. Then five minutes later he walks out with pop-tarts, mac and cheese, and captain morgan. We need to chill with this kid more often.
Dude you should see the looks were getting for ordering a pitcher of beer with breakfast.
I found out you can't leave the bar with a drink. I also found out that pouring it on the bouncers shoes is also unacceptable.
That would be a mascot riding an ATV at a semi-professional hockey game, if that doesn't sum up how I've been I don't know what could
It's becoming clear to me that I am not sugar baby material. I don't think I could handle old balls long term.
I'm laughing at the fact that I'm at Target right now buying vitamins and alcohol.
I knew how blacked out you were when you started doing that thing where you dance around and call yourself the Black Swan.
See that doesn't work because we've had sex so its awkward for you to call me mom
You invited these random guys into your apartment that you met in the hallway...& then you started screaming at them to get out cause you didn't know who they were.
Randomize
