Im glad youre not pregnant with that New Jersey assholes baby. Your vagina would have smelled worse than Newark.
Ok I won't set anything on fire if you wear pants all night. This is a bet we're both destined to lose.
Last night you tried to pee on my bed...in the hallway...your room...and the showers. When I finally got you on the toilet you passed out.
just used clorox wipes to give myself a whores bath. hello finals week
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she could've warned me his penis was curved
ya i dont think she expected you to get with her boyfriend.
Just break the ice by asking who had to take plan b this past semester
Yea. I couldn't get a job in fast food but I can teach Americas youth. The future looks great
I am both excited and frightened by the fact that this much everclear is legal here. Best vacation ever.
For sure. Gotta go. Building an igloo.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Turn on the Discovery Channel
Lets fuck to motorcycle gang fighting
I told you, I'm taking a sledgehammer to your walls. Fuck your walls.
I'm Batman.
Hey.... can you explain to me why when I woke up this morning my cell phone background had been changed to me getting a piggy back ride from a drag queen?
I FLASHED A GUY AT MCDONALDS FOR A FREE BREAKFAST BURRITO. IT WORKED!
She asked me to tell her the three words every girl wants to hear so I whispered "I play hockey" in her ear.
You went after him with a sword while screaming “FAJITAS!”. And Todd was dressed as a Goth for some reason
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